Thursday and Friday last week went by pretty quickly. When I’m in rehearsals, which we are again, days blur by until we get to rehearsal and then it is just a few short hours until I can get home. Thursday I had the kids with me for dinner and we finished getting curtains up in the living room and watched the next chapter in The Mandalorian before I had to run them back to their mother. Today is my daughter’s birthday and I figured that was probably the time I would get to spend with them before her birthday and when they come to me for the holiday season part 2. This didn’t turn out to be the case, but that comes later.

Friday night I came home planning to run before it got dark and then go climb but I ended up doing the dishes and laundry and then going to climb with Thomas. It has been a few weeks since I’ve had what I would call a good climb but Friday was it. We were up there around 5:30 and the gym was almost empty so we had the run of the place. Thomas is an amazing climber and a good friend and we talked about some silly stuff and some heavy stuff but overall we had a very solid climbing sesh. I sent/flashed all but the last route I attempted and felt really strong and in control on the wall. We were talking about the holidays and I mentioned that I was going up to Minnesota to spend a day with my siblings and also seeing my mother for the first time in…seven years. Thomas asked me when the last time I saw her was and I honestly couldn’t remember. My siblings haven’t seen me in a year or so, except Geoff, so when I go up there at the end of the month, I’m coming up as a completely different person.

My body is different, my mind is different and that seven year cell replacement thing means that nothing that existed of me the last time I saw my mom exists in me now. I was getting ready to send another route when that realization landed. I told Thomas that there wasn’t really any anger associated with the situation anymore because there hasn’t been a viable relationship between us since I was in high school, almost 20 years ago. This doesn’t mean I don’t have anxiety around the trip, I absolutely do, but I have to know that I’m not the same kid who was responsible for siblings and parents who weren’t able to find a way to process the trauma of the situation. We went through a lot of shit growing up, our parents went through a lot of shit as they grew up with us, and we have to be able to own the lessons but release the pain of the things that didn’t work.

After climbing we went over to Eastside for a bit and then I headed home to get things ready for the inaugural Bridgeport Trail Run out at…Bridgeport. It’s true that I’ve been doing a lot the past couple of months with regard to timing, I’m trying to bank some time with the work so I can be ok when the season calms down in the summer. The race was pretty much a perfect day, the weather was amazing and the runners all had a great time. No one got super lost, or didn’t admit it if they did, and there were only 3 DNFs out of all 150+ runners. With runDallas the next day, I was surprised how many people out running Bridgeport were also running something at Dallas. I thought about jumping in on the marathon but didn’t want to shell out $200 for a long run. While I was out at the race, my ex texted me about a couple things including spending some time with the kids on Sunday for my daughter’s birthday. I was pretty grateful for the opportunity for an unscheduled moment with the kids after a busy weekend. We packed things up as the last runners were coming in, I had a nice talk with Chris and Anne as always, and I made it back to town in time for a friend’s housewarming party that night.

Sunday morning, I planned to run with a couple of DARC runners at Knob Hills but it turned out that the trail was closed. I wanted 15-20 miles and Knob is pretty perfect for that but we ended up at Old Alton instead and I did an easy 10k followed by a hard 7+ miles out and back again on the trail. I was really trying to push things after talking the whole 10k out about some heavy subjects and it was the first time in a couple months that I’ve just done the “shut up and run” thing. My first out and back, shorter, was around 1:35 and the 7+ on the back side was around 1:11, if that gives any indication of where I was at. I burned it in, didn’t walk when I felt like it and really pushed to the end. My hands were white for about an hour after the run, I realized it really doesn’t have a lot to do with the temperature but more to do with the amount of exertion that I put into a run. I headed home, ate something and then took a shower before heading to the grocery store to pick up some things for the week. I went down to pick the kids up and we had a quick lunch before heading over to Freeplay for a couple of hours. I don’t know why my kids love that place so much but they do and I’m happy to do things with them that they love.

Did a small running club party in the evening and walked away with a new coffee mug and some Nintendo cash for the kids, pretty packed weekend and another one coming up but the end is near.