Last week flew by to the point where I don’t even really remember the work week. It was shortened by testing and half days and as soon as I ended my day on Thursday, I went to go pick up my kids for the weekend. After last weekend, I knew I had another long weekend of timing ahead but with the kids it was going to be a little more of a challenge. They haven’t been on a race with me for the duration and I knew that while the Running the Distance community is super chill and kid friendly that it would be a big ask from the kids to make it through the day.

Friday we baked cookies and banana bread all day before getting ready to head to the running club holiday party in the evening. We made some new recipes and had fun exploring “the cookies” and making the old (by now) favorites. As much as I like baking, cookies were never my forte but somehow having the kids around makes baking cookies seem like a good pastime. We had a potluck to go to on Saturday so I wanted something to bring along that would be different and easy and cookies fit the bill. I hadn’t worked with salted butter in along time and the recipe called for it and some flaky salt which I didn’t remember to grab at the store so while the cookies were pretty amazing, they could have been better. We went to the running club party at the GDAC in the evening and had a good time but left as soon as the program portion of the evening was through because we had an early morning the next day.

I remember as a kid waking up ridiculously early for the first time, how it felt to be up at a time that I didn’t even realize existed. By now the early mornings on weekends aren’t really that big of a deal, I woke the kids up at 4:30 to get in the car and head down to Bachman Lake. One of the challenges that I was anticipating for the day was that Sam has started really pushing back at the beginning of our times together as part of his struggles with transitions. I know it is an issue, he was being difficult at the running party and I figured getting up early would cause some problems. We got to the park, the kids didn’t sleep on the way down since it is a short drive, and I got things set up for the race. Sam came down and poked around a little bit and we had a bit of a moment where he didn’t want to do what I asked him to do and he pulled the whole stomping and glaring thing that he’s been doing. I refuse to yell at my kids when I’m frustrated or they are frustrated because I’m fully aware that this situation isn’t their fault and they are doing the best they can. Sam and I had a talk at 6 am about it and by the end of the day he didn’t even remember that at all. The race was fine, nothing terribly interesting happened beyond people running around and around. I did get to play with the kids at the park close to the site and that was fun to just get a chance to step out and focus on something else for a bit. It was chilly so they spent a lot of time reading or watching videos in the car. I knew one day was enough for them and called my dad about taking them in the morning for a different day.

When we got home from the race, we all took a nap and I charged the computers and tablets before we headed to the potluck. Sophie is always nervous about new food situations because of her allergies and my friends also have indoor cats which are another allergy trigger for her. When we got there, Sam fell on the sidewalk on the way in and took a minute to process before we went in. He headed to the back room to play and Sophie hung with me, immediately noticing the shrimp dish on the table, one of her big food allergies. Needless to say, we hung out for a while and I ate but then I took the kids home and let them eat a bit at home before I had to pass out to get up in the morning, they ended up putting themselves to bed.

I got up and worked out in the morning and then hit the road for the last timing gig of the year. Honestly I’m looking forward to some down time/training time. Timing has made it possible for me to make it the last seven months but I’m pretty exhausted after the last six weeks of back to back timing. Two days in a row is a big push for me at the end of the year and even though today is Monday, it doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I just started the weekend and the kids are going back tomorrow. I’ll be alone for Christmas Eve and then heading off to Minnesota for a day and a half before I get back in town on Saturday and can finally focus on getting myself recovered and ready fro Bandera in January. My overall fitness is good but I need to put together some big long runs before the race and kickstart training for April.

This morning while I was getting my coffee together, I had a flash of “this feels like home” while I was rinsing my French press in the sink. I know it is because the kids are here and my stress levels are low but I’ll hold on to that moment and when I’m feeling lost and without definition, I’ll hold on to that feeling. I know I’ve written about this before but the loss of my “dad” label most of the time has been a bigger impact than my loss of the “husband/partner” label. The holidays are not easy for me but we will press on.

I’ve got some friends coming over for dinner tonight and the kids are excited. I’m going to try a blend of sourdough and yeast for the pizza tonight and maybe pick up a round pizza pan when we go shopping this morning. I’ll be sure to post some photos!