Muscle Memory
The first day of work was so weird, the second was better and by the time I made it to the end of Friday, things felt almost like normal. I have my kids this weekend and my dad and step-mom have stepped into the gap to help with picking them up from school on the Fridays when I have them with me because my hours are longer than theirs. I don’t love the reasons that I’m they have stepped in but it has been really nice to have the support of sympathetic people when things get hectic. The kids have also really enjoyed having their grandparents around more than in the past and things have kind of started settling into a rhythm.
Last time the kids were with me, things got pretty emotional around staying in a new place, this weekend has been so much better in that department. On Thursday, I put the kids to bed and played the guitar for a while as they fell asleep, last night was the same thing except this time my son came out of his room and asked me to play so he could fall asleep. He ended up sitting on the couch and falling asleep while I was playing and singing a bit, my voice was pretty thrashed from talking all day for the three days at the beginning of the school year.
As I was sitting on the couch playing and watching him fall asleep and my daughter was sitting in the armchair reading, I remembered what it was like when I was growing up listening to my mother playing the piano and signing while we would fall asleep as kids. I thought about how different this moment was from those moments because it wasn’t something that I ever did until, well, until this weekend. By the time the kids came along, I wasn’t playing music anymore and it wasn’t something there was space for in the house. I also thought about how strange is must be for my kids to suddenly discover this dormant part of their dad that has come back after so many years away. Pretty weighty thoughts but it was pretty powerful to me as I contrasted the different ways that my mother and I are alike and, thankfully, different.
Last night, we picked up new glasses for my daughter and grabbed groceries before coming back to the house to make dinner. My dad came over since Suzanne is out of town for the weekend and we made burgers and stuff for dinner. Sourdough pancakes for breakfast and then we went out to the market to see Matt and pick up a couple things for orchestra at the elementary school. The rest of the day is pretty much staying out of the heat and maybe I’ll squeeze a run in or something at some point. Monday I’m planning to go up to work early and run in the park before the start of the day and try to build some new routines in as the year progresses. Run in the morning, climb in the evening to avoid the heat of the day on the run home.