I’ve been a bit quiet since Bandera for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that I’ve been feeling off my game. I packed the last month with races and work and while I am still doing fine emotionally, for the most part, I’m tired. Oh, and I ran 108k on Saturday. So that happened.

We had our usual weather issues with Knob Hills last weekend (was it only last weekend?) but Ben was able to mark out a course that would at least get some runners out there. We had around 55% turnout for the race and while the conditions weren’t ideal, it was a good day. I had the kids with me for the weekend and this was the first all-day race they came to. It helped that we were out at the Scout Barn and they were able to bounce between helping with the race and relaxing inside. I was working/volunteering for this one so it was busy in the early part of the day and as runners finished and the field got smaller things settled down. We had one 100k runner who dropped early which cut our day almost in half so I was able to wrap things up and grab the kids from my dad later in the evening. I did go grab a drink with Ben and Liz for a bit and Ben talked about running this 108k race in Tyler State Park the next Saturday the 25th.

Now, I had previously DNF’d a 100k out there a few years ago. I was much better trained and much more prepared to run the distance that year but a combination of heat, chafing and my family not being there when I hoped they would be fucked my mental game on that one. I went out too hard, hoped too hard and got burned (figuratively) too hard to make it that time. I needed some redemption. I know in the last post I talked about readjusting my expectations for being able to complete a 100 miler this year but there was something about Saturday night, a couple of beers probably, that made me hop onto Ultrasignup and throw my name in for Running the Rose 108k. And the funny thing is, I didn’t tell anyone other than a couple of close friends who were also going to be out there. Not a big buildup mileage-wise leading into this year other than a marathon around the square and Bandera in my pocket but I wanted some redemption.

After Bandera, Ben gave me some shit about running stupid and I planned to run Running the Rose with him the whole way. He’d mentioned his time goal for the distance at around 17 hours and I thought that was a pace I could maintain for the whole day (around 15:30 min/mile). I’d never taken on that much mileage with a “slow and easy” mentality but I figured if there was any chance that I’d be able to finish this race it would be moving like that. Consider it an “all day” pace, something I need to wrap my head around if 100 miles is in my future.

The week leading up to the race, last week was super busy at work. We had rehearsals every day, the kids were staying the night randomly on Thursday and we had a clinic to get to on Wednesday for our contest. I just kept pushing through the week, I ran a bit and tried to get enough sleep and eat enough so I wouldn’t need to worry about being worn out starting the race on Saturday. The clinic was really good, the kids did a solid job performing the show and it was good for my technicians to have some hands-on practice with their lighting rig at the high school. Things went so well that I decided to give them Friday off so they could rest up for the week ahead rather than grind away at another rehearsal before they had a chance to process the feedback.

Thursday night, I had the kids overnight and it was nice to have them with me for an unexpected evening. Friday was just another day at the races except by Friday morning I was looking forward to racing all day. I drove home right after work and got my things in order and headed out the door. Other than major traffic on the way out to Tyler State Park, things were pretty uneventful. I met up with Lisa and Ben for dinner in Lindale and followed Lisa out to her campsite in the park. It was going to get down into the mid-30s that night so I kept to my plan of sleeping in my car. It wasn’t too bad but I need to up my car camping game for in the future.

4 am came around and I was awake and ready to start the day. I drove the short distance to the start/finish and got situated for the day: drop bag with some changes of clothes, nutrition I didn’t end up using, a chair…that kind of thing. I saw the 100k kid who DNF’d at Knob Hills a week before getting ready to toe the line and wished him good luck, said “hi” to a could of DDR folks at the aid station and tent and hooked up with Ben for the race brief. We had a conservative plan for the day, it was chilly and dark and we didn’t want to do anything early that would come back to haunt us later in the day.

We started out with a couple of ladies for the first loop, Jennifer from Arkansas and another lady whose name we didn’t catch. The route is the route Dave used when Whispering Pines was a thing and seeing the headlamps climbing the big hill out of the start was pretty inspiring. We hung with the ladies through the second aid station, maybe even the first full loop, they kind of all blend together after a while. There were three aid stations on course, the start/finish, Old Road and Blackjack. The two on the route were about 5 miles apart which didn’t seem like much the first loop or two but started to feel longer and longer each time we came through. 6 loops. We split the race into thirds so it was a little more manageable in the mind but even that didn’t matter for the first couple of times through.

In the third loop, I changed into shorts from my half tights and pounded a couple of ibuprofen. I’d been feeling my hamstrings talking to me with some residual stiffness from Bandera and Ben suggested I try the ibuprofen I had in my drop bag. It was amazing how much of a difference it made on my mentality heading in to loop 4. Ben and I were chatting quite a bit, not a surprise since we’d spent so much time running together over the last few years. There is something special about the amount of time spent with a running buddy on the trail. What ended up being almost 17.5 hours of ebbs and flows in conversation took us all over the place. That fourth loop we really started cruising for a bit and when we got into the Old Road aid station, a familiar shout came back at us from down the road. Dale was there working the aid station and I promised Ben I wouldn’t yell first. After the DDM on New Year’s Day, I figured I would dial it down. We went in and out grabbing what we needed and headed out to the Blackjack aid station.

At this point, the only thing that caused me any issues during the race started to pop up. My feet weren’t used to the time and started blistering. It could have been the shoes were on their last miles, it could have been the grit from the trail but my left foot started to cause some issues. I was used to some chafing but surprisingly that didn’t pop up. Today, Tuesday, I’m still nursing a brutal blister that formed under the callus on my left heel. I ended up draining a significant amount of fluid and finally removed the extra tissue this morning. During the race, however, I drained a couple of blisters and just kept moving forward. When we got back to the start/finish, I spent a couple of minutes working on a blister that popped up and then we headed back out.

Loop 5 we started in the daylight and ended up running in the dark on the back half. The aid stations started cooking up some hot food, bean and cheese quesadillas and grilled cheese sandwiches, which was great because I was pretty much done with anything sweet. We grabbed a grilled cheese at Old Road and moved on through the long stretch between the aid stations. The sun started going down and Ben was pretty happy not to have the sun beating down through the back half. We pushed through the aid station and made our way back to the start/finish with Michelle and picked up Arturo for the final loop. The final loop went by pretty quickly, Ben’s headlamp started crapping out on him so we took a bit longer on the back half. As we closed in on the final miles, 17 hours after we started, we were still running some and I was feeling pretty good, probably as close to a runner’s high that I’ve ever been.

We rounded the final turn into the finish and Ben came through just a couple seconds before I did for 19th place, I came in at 20th. We picked up our medals and I hung out for a few minutes and a picture before we hobbled over to our cars to head in our separate ways.

I made it home Sunday morning early and slept in as late as I could. The running club had a meeting at 1 and I needed to try and unpack my car with the gnarly blister on my left foot that made it hard to walk. I had some bruising on the top of my left foot and it is still a little tender. The blister is almost to the point where I can run, I’ll try on Wednesday, and that surprises me. After my first marathon, I couldn’t walk for three days. After my first 50k, I could barely walk from my car to the house. After my first 50 miler, I shook so hard I couldn’t untie my shoes and I didn’t eat for 24 hours. After my last 50k two weeks ago, I was running two days after and once my foot works itself out I’ll be running again.

Monday I took my new buckle into work because there are a couple of people there who I wanted to share that accomplishment with. They all told me I was nuts and that there wasn’t much about what I did that makes much sense, and they aren’t wrong. But following behind Ben for 17:27.55 was enough for me to realize that when I’m racing long, I can finally dial it back and just hang on for the ride. Onward and upward. I’m sure I’ll have more realizations in the coming days about what it meant to me to finally redeem myself at the 100k+ distance at the same place I DNF’d my first one and how my imposter syndrome is finally beginning to break down. We shall see where these legs will take me, how far or how high remains to be seen.