Spent the day with the kiddos today. Picked them up at 8 and rather than grab donuts from the local spot, we went down to my neighborhood and had breakfast at Loco Cafe. I always run into old students working there and today was no exception, I saw at least three.
After breakfast, we drove up to Lake Ray Roberts - Isle du Bois Unit and walked around on the paved trail. The kids had a good time in the woods before we had to make a break for the restroom near the boat launch. Lake levels are way up due to the unseasonably wet weather we’ve had since, well since November. Most of the park was shut down due to lake levels but we still had a chance to enjoy the weather.
We met up with my dad for lunch and then spent the rest of the afternoon playing at the park, getting rained on and then playing some games. I dropped the kids off and was pretty proud of myself for keeping things together for most of the day. Until I didn’t.
Dropping them off and getting back in my car is the hardest part. My counselor told me to just get used to these tsunamis of emotion that wash over from time to time. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t do anything, just sit with the discomfort. It is so hard to do but I know that this is the right path for me to be on right now and I have to live with that and deal with the hard parts as they come.
I was going to go to a show tonight and see some friends play but I don’t have the emotional energy to make it through a concert tonight. The past couple of days have really taxed my available emotional reserves and I’m pretty raw. I opted for a beer and some unexpected company.