I was up in the middle of the night last night. I woke up at 2 am ahead of my alarm at 4:30 am. I had an alarm set for 4:30 because a trail run at 6:30 am was in the works. It’s been months since I was on a proper trail and this was going to be great! Until I woke up at 2 am. I laid in bed, or what passes for a bed in my case, trying to will myself back to sleep, picked up a book for a bit and finally just gave up and made a French press.
It was PRIDE week in Denton this week and I had the pleasure of attending one of the events, a Spiderweb show at Denton County Brewing Company. I was standing there with Matt when I saw a small group of former students milling around outside and then coming in long enough to see me and leave. I wish they had stayed because the show was great and the audience was great and people got up and took risks and it was beautiful.
This morning, when I was sitting trying to go back to sleep, this line from a Bazan song popped into my head, “If I’m not losing sleep, I’m probably over it.” I’m not. I’m still working through this. I’m trying to make sure that I don’t run angry or without enough fuel/rest (didn’t really listen to this one today). I did run today, even though I wanted to cancel and try to sleep again and it wasn’t a great run but it was something real. Something that I had some tiny bit of control over until I ran myself out of energy towards the end.